週日雅晶借了我一本很棒的書,已經隨時要生了的孕婦,還是那麼神采奕奕地,永遠是那麼心情愉快。
這本書名是「百歲醫師教我的育兒寶典」,作者不是醫師,而是一位擁有三個孩子的母親。
之前就從一些人口中聽說過「百歲」理論,印象中是用訓練嬰孩來配合大人的作息,我的妹妹同時有「親密」和「百歲」兩套完全不同理論的著作,後來她選擇的是親密育兒百科的作法,也借我書並推薦我使用。
作媽媽的當然很難想像任由一個新生兒哭一晚上而不讓他喝奶,會是多令人心痛,我一直以為百歲是這樣的理論,先短暫痛苦幾天,幸福一輩子。
坐月子期間,我和老公也認命地每兩三小時起身餵奶照顧寶寶,而就在千千滿月後,突然可以常常一覺到天亮,完全不需要訓練,我當那是個特別的禮物。很多聽我這麼說的人都認為我非常的幸運,因為一般的寶寶沒那麼好睡。雖然偶爾還是會需要夜奶一次,但是作為全職媽媽,我並沒有任何抱怨。
漸漸地,寶寶學會觀察,她知道只要哭鬧,我們就會抱她、想辦法安撫她,很少讓她哭超過一分鐘。喝奶的次數也開始變得頻繁,寶寶也越來越不認真,像是在吃點心而非正餐。其實千千是個乖孩子,她還是很懂得自己在床上或是在躺椅上靜靜地玩。只不過偶爾,她仍會有哭鬧不休的情況,非要我們抱著或走一走哄才肯安靜。
我一直覺得自己是個很幸福的媽媽。
直到今天讀完了百歲這本書,我才知道,可以給寶寶更好的。訓練寶寶不只是為了父母方便而已,而是能給寶寶更正常規律的作息,加上更有安全感。
昨晚我和老公都讀了一點,就決定馬上開始執行,晚上無故哭鬧時決定不理會她,放回床上,果然,不出幾分鐘,寶寶就乖乖地吸手指看音樂鈴了。
今天早上,我也開始力行四小時餵一次奶,而不是哭了就餵。果然寶寶在兩個半小時就哭了一下,我稍加安撫後,不再理她,千千很快就又安靜下來繼續自己玩。我則坐在嬰兒床旁邊繼續讀百歲。
時間到了,我抱她起來餵奶,她精神情緒正好,還給了我一個大大的微笑,並認真地喝奶。
我相信新生兒不會因為四個小時喝一次,或是一覺到天亮就餓到肚子或損害健康,我本來就是哭了就餵她,但從四週起就常自然地發生白天一次睡四五小時,晚上一叫到天亮。寶寶現在一樣是健健康康。
而我現在決定實行百歲的作法,是因為接觸的晚,其實現在開始也不算晚,而我對寶寶能從中獲得的益處更是感到非常大的興趣。我相信這是幫助寶寶自然健康成長的好方法。現在,我就要來依照百歲醫師的建議,開始準備寶寶的副食品計畫了。
當然,每個父母都可以選擇自己喜歡的作法,選擇妳最喜歡的方式就對了。
2015.5.20. 補記
現在我準備迎接第四個孩子,正拿出親密育兒百科在複習,想起以前接觸百歲的經驗,於是回來看以前的紀錄。
老實說,後來我並沒有持續使用百歲,一來那時老大已經蠻大了,我也不需強求一定要照表操課。後來看到一些文章指出百歲可能的缺點,和朋友實行的過程,讓我感到害怕,所幸還是照直覺去養小孩,直到現在。
有朋友點出,台灣暢銷的百歲書籍並非醫師或專家所寫,也沒有權威人士的背書,所以適用性令人質疑。加上親密是較近代醫學佐證下的理論,有研究背書,也更貼近一般父母的直覺,所以我的直覺和經驗是更傾向親密育兒法的。
別人的經驗如何我不知道,但我知道我的經驗是美好的,養育新生兒當然會需要犧牲和付出,我認為這是作為父母的學習過程,一直到接下來孩子成長的幾年,我們一直在學習耐心和了解。
This Sunday, Candy lent me a very good book. For a pregnant woman, due anytime, still looks great and happy as always.
This book is titled "Happy Baby Peaceful Home". The author is not a doctor but a mother of three beautiful children. She writes about her experience with Dr. Denmark.
I've heard about Dr. Leila Denmark and a little of her theory. She's now 110 year old and so we call her "Hundred year old doctor" in Chinese. In my impression it was to train baby to suite adults' routine, didn't sound very nice to me. My sister has both "The Baby Book" and "Happy Baby Peaceful Home", she ended up choosing "The Baby Book" as mother's manual, which is also in my hand at the moment.
It's uneasy for a mother to imagine your new born baby cry through the night without feeding. It must be heartbreaking. That's what I though about Dr. Denmark's theory: few days of pain for a happy lifetime.
During our first month, we feed Evelyn every 2~3 hours with no complaint. Soon after 4 weeks, she suddenly can sleep through the night without any training. I take it as a very special gift from her. Most people are very surprised to hear that and thought I was very lucky, since most baby are not that easy. Though still once every few days I need to get up at midnight to feed her. As a fulltime mom, I still have no complaint.
Now, Evelyn has learn to observe. She knows that if she crys, we will come to her and give her whatever she wants.(Not necessary what she needs.) Still, Evelyn is a wonderful baby, she can lay on her bed or bouncer and play on her own for quite a while.
I've always feel very much blessed.
Until today, after reading this book, I realized I can give my baby somthing better. Training a baby is not only for parents' good, but also a better routine and more security for baby.
Last night after discussion, we decided to follow Dr. Denmark's instruction immediately. She was crying with no reason after dinner, after few minutes crying alone on her bed, she sucked her thumb with eyes on the musical mobile. Leo then said, "Dr. Denmark is amazing!". Well, it's not that easy.
This morning I started to feed her every four hours instead of whenever she wants. It turn out great! She's satisfied as usual and only cried for few seconds before time's up.
I believe that enfants won't be hurt by eating every four hours or sleep through the night without milk. It already happened few times naturally before I learned about Dr. Denmark. My baby is still happy and healthy.
It's not too late for me to follow Dr. Denmark's suggestions, they are not just about sleep. I'm very interested in the benefit that my baby's goinng to get from it. I believe it to be a good way to raise a healthy baby. I'm on my way to feed Evelyn non-staple food according to Dr. Denmark's suggestions.
Of course, every parent should choose whatever they feel comfortable. Just choose the way you like.
P.S. In English, The popular book about Dr. Denmark: "Dr. Denmark Said it!". You'll find lots of information on google.